I like to see people boast of how supportive their family is. Sometimes I try to even tag along and nod in approval but the truth is I would rather vouch for friends and strangers. I would much rather spare you the gory details but let’s just say I grew up in a home where I needed to sneak around to do things any teenager would do– like partaking in sports at school. Attending extra-classes on Saturday mornings, playing with friends, watching television, etc. I would have considered it normal if all my siblings were treated the same. They were allowed to have friends over, stay out late, etc. The least mistake I made would have my mother hurling insults and curses at me. These things really took a big toll on my confidence and I became socially awkward.
As I grew up, the things I was restricted to began to increase. My parents no longer found the need to support me so I was forced to pay my way through university. It wasn’t because they couldn’t afford it but I was left to work odd jobs– waiting tables in restaurants, helping shop owners in Makola among other things. The two people who helped me the most during these times were one of my lecturers and a friend I call a brother till date.
That notwithstanding, I managed to graduate with first class honours and applied for a scholarship to pursue my master’s in Canada. When I got the scholarship and told my parents about it, my father insisted I wasn’t going anywhere. As if I was some ten-year old child who needed to be told what to do. God being kind to me, I got in, moved to Canada and juggled school with work so I could save something. Things haven’t been all rainbows but I am far from where I used to be – I’m grateful to God for that. Looking back, I’ve realised I’ve received more love from strangers and friends than I have from my family.
Not to say I’ve cut my family off completely but I have just been focused on living my life. I send them messages on occasions and pray that eventually God will give me the strength to be nice to them and not think about all the things they put me through in the past.
Ekow – Canada
